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UNILAD and LADbible founder Alex Partridge started both companies while he was studying at university and was a millionaire by the time he was 25.
In this episode of all about business, James and Alex discuss the power of social media, the podcast that led to Alex’s ADHD diagnosis, and the harrowing court case that almost cost him everything.
About Alex
Alex Partridge is the founder of UNILAD and LADbible, two of the UK’s most popular news and entertainment platforms.
He has been open about his struggles with ADHD, which he was diagnosed with at the age of 34, and has written a book that explores his personal journey with ADHD and how the diagnosis has impacted his life and career.
Alex also hosts the podcast ADHD Chatter, where he discusses ADHD with leading experts, celebrities and psychiatrists.
00:43 Alex's early entrepreneurial ventures
03:58 late-night pizza deliveries
06:19 the birth of UNILAD
09:12 going viral and building a team
18:08 challenges and legal battles
22:37 facing the courtroom: A flashback to childhood anxiety
30:33 Alex’s ADHD diagnosis
40:08 starting a new career
42:29 advice for aspiring entrepreneurs
Watch Alex’s podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast
Read Alex’s book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817
Follow Alex on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-partridge-9b589480/
Follow James Reed on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chairmanjames/
Alex Partridge 1
James: [00:00:00] Welcome to All About Business with me, James Reed, the podcast that covers everything about business management and leadership. Every episode I sit down with [00:00:10] different guests of bootstrap companies, masterminded investment models, built a business empire. They're leaders in their field, and they're here to give you top insights and [00:00:20] actionable advice so that you can apply their ideas to your own career or business venture.[00:00:30]
James (2): So, Alex, thank you so much for coming to see me today. I've been looking forward to this conversation. I know your story and I'm very excited about you sharing it with our listeners. [00:00:40] Um, I'd like to begin by asking a, a sort of heads up question. You, I believe we're multimillionaire by the age of 25. How did that
Alex: happen?[00:00:50]
Alex: Um, gosh, yeah. Great, great. Start, hit the ground running. Let's get straight on with it. Um, so it started with, [00:01:00] uh, lots of businesses that didn't work and that started when I was six. My first business was a board game company. [00:01:10] Um, always been very creative and I remember. Thinking I wanted to start a board game when I was six years old.
Alex: I went through my parents' drawers and [00:01:20] found all of the board games in the house, found all of the addresses of the companies that manufactured them. Spent the summer designing my board game, all the little [00:01:30] pieces, writing the instructions, packaged it all up and sent it to all of these companies. And I didn't hear anything for a few weeks, but I did get one [00:01:40] response and it was.
Alex: And I think they could tell I was quite young. My handwriting, my handwriting was quite messy. They said, unfortunately Alex, we're not looking for any new [00:01:50] board game designs at the moment, uh, but always lean into this entrepreneurial spirit.
James (2): So you, I think you get the prize. Alex has been the youngest entrepreneur we've had on all [00:02:00] about business so far, starting at six.
James (2): I don't think anyone. Has topped that yet, which is really good. So by the time you've got your mid twenties, you've been in business 20 years by the sound of things, you'd started a few other things [00:02:10] after the board games,
Alex: there was a string of start and talk. Talk me through some of those.
James (2): And I'm really interested in, in how entrepreneurs get going.
James (2): I suppose
Alex: there was a lot of the sort of [00:02:20] standard, there was a car washing business going around and go around the streets that my parents lived on, knocking on doors. Um, loved that for a summer. I, my dad's an antiques dealer and a lot of the [00:02:30] stuff that he couldn't sell, um, I used to really enjoy organizing pricing up and selling outside my parents' house when people were walking past.
Alex: Um, I. Uh, [00:02:40] I started this website called Quick Presence. Did anyone ask you where the furniture had come from when you were selling outside the house? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. All the crap [00:02:50] my dad can't sell. Those were
James (2): very innovative. Yeah. Go on. What was the next, what was the next
Alex: one? So, fast forwarding a bit here, say, when I was after college, I, I, this was when the internet was all [00:03:00] over the place.
Alex: I started a website called Quick Presence. Um, and the idea was if you needed to buy. A loved one or a friend, a present, but was struggling for ideas. You'd come to my [00:03:10] website and you would input their interests. So you would say, dad, mom likes fishing, likes musical theatre, whatever it is. And then my website would generate some [00:03:20] gift suggestions.
Alex: Um, and I had a affiliation with Amazon, so it was, that's sort of how it worked. Very basic. Um, but what all of these ideas had in common [00:03:30] was there was a tremendous excitement in the early days. Um. And I remember with every single one, it was the thought process on day [00:03:40] one and day two and day three was the same.
Alex: It was, this is my new life's purpose. This is the business that I'm gonna do for the rest of my life. Um, but with every single one, it, it, it didn't [00:03:50] last and fast forward two weeks and it was the, the motivation and enthusiasm for every single one had it had evaporated. Um, the, [00:04:00] the biggest one really was in my first year of university, I.
Alex: I had this idea, I wanted to create this late night pizza delivery company [00:04:10] because this was pre-delivery, pre all of that. And I noticed that there was a clear demand for, for food after all of the clubs had shut. Um, and I remember thinking, this [00:04:20] is such a good idea. I impulsively spent half my student loan on this six foot massive giant freezer, uh, nearly the size of this table.
Alex: Um, two [00:04:30] delivery men. Carried it and delivered it into my, into my bedroom. Ridiculous. Um, oh, it must have filled most of the room. You in a freezer. Yeah. Then what [00:04:40] happened? Uh, well, I, I set up a Facebook page called Quick Pizza, filled it with frozen pizzas from the supermarket from four different varieties, pepperoni, Hawaiian Plain, and [00:04:50] another one.
Alex: Um, and I put my phone number on this Facebook page, and if students wanted a pizza in the middle of the night, they would text me. Long story short, I had four. People cycling [00:05:00] around Oxford in the middle of the night delivering pizzas. You weren't gonna sleep much, I imagine. But, you know, I, I was, I loved it so much.
Alex: This, the [00:05:10] university shut me down because I didn't have a food safety hygiene certificate. Um, so that's a shame. We
James (2): could have helped you with that because we
Alex: do those courses,
James (2): but Perfect. We are years too [00:05:20] late, obviously. Yeah. They shut you down. They shut you down. So what, what I'm thinking, listening to these sort of ideas or examples is you are ahead of your time on quite a few of them [00:05:30] almost.
James (2): I mean, you've come up with things that have, you know, like Deliveroo become mainstream. You know, ordering things or trying, or AI will now help you find things for your loved ones. If you, if you put in their [00:05:40] interests, I mean, you've been looking, you, you, you've had incredible creativity around those ideas.
James (2): I did car washing. I remember, but that was for the Boys Scouts. It was Bob a job week. I remember doing that [00:05:50] and, and earning quite a lot for them. But they got the money.
Alex: Well, I think it's all, you know, it's all stuff that I irritated me and I. I just went [00:06:00] into problem solving mode and I think out of a lot of my early creations, you know, fair enough, I didn't necessarily stick at them.
Alex: And we can probably go into why a little later on, but the very seed [00:06:10] idea, the very early stage was, was things that irritated me and how could I find a solution to those. You went into problem
James (2): solving mode. Mode. I like that thought. We'll come [00:06:20] back to that 'cause because it was while you were at university that you, you started a business for which you became very well known, which was called unlad.
James (2): Tell me about that, Alex. [00:06:30]
Alex: Yeah, so unilateral, I mean, this was back in 2010 when. Social media, particularly Facebook back then was really dominating the, the, the [00:06:40] university campuses across the country. Um, it was so new and I remember my brain just completely became obsessed with it. Um, [00:06:50] hyper-focused on the platform, what the algorithm wanted.
Alex: Um, I was in a relationship in my second year and to cut a long sort of [00:07:00] romantic story short, um, I got dumped. And she was the editor of a, an online university magazine. [00:07:10] And the reason for the breakup was that we didn't have anything in common. And looking back now, really, I went into problem solving mode and I thought, what can I do to [00:07:20] make her think that we do have something in common?
Alex: So I didn't want to tread on her toes too much her. Online magazine was targeted at female students, so I thought, I don't wanna [00:07:30] compete with her. So, I'll start one. Directed at male students. So the name un lad. Came to me quite quickly. I remember running downstairs to my, um, housemate's room and he [00:07:40] blew out this puff of marijuana smoke and said, yeah, that's a really cool name, man.
Alex: So with a focus group of my flatmate that works. [00:07:50] So the name Uni lad was stuck. And you know, I think that was, that was, you know, the breaks were off at that point. I was obsessed with, with Facebook and, and what. [00:08:00] What, and, and creating content. And, and so what was your
James (2): first content? Can you
Alex: remember? I think it was, funnily enough, it was like a, it was a, a review of the kebab [00:08:10] shops in Oxford.
Alex: Right. Um, it was very much, 'cause I knew that, you know, people wanted late night food. So there was still a bit of an echo of the pizza business in my head. And I, and I did a review system of the, the, the local kebab [00:08:20] shops. I wanted to take it to the next level. So I created this idea that I, well I now call it the free.
Alex: Condom campaign [00:08:30] and it was, I changed the, the artwork of the Facebook page and I said, if anyone likes the, the, the Facebook page, you will get sent free contraception in the post. And [00:08:40] I took the idea to the local clinic, the local NHS sexual health clinic, and they absolutely loved the idea. Um, to, to promote safe sex on campus.
Alex: [00:08:50] And they gave me these two industrial sized boxes of, of condoms. And I think anyone who saw me walking home that day with these two boxes, um, I have no idea what they would've thought, but [00:09:00] it was, did you still have the freezer in your room? Yeah. What's that? Well, yeah, I did. Who did? So you gotta put 'em in there, I suppose.
Alex: Yeah, the exciting flat idea had gone there. This probably is still there. [00:09:10] Uh, but that campaign went incredibly viral. Um, you know, I didn't even have enough contraception to send out, but the, the snowball effect of that marketing campaign took hold and it [00:09:20] took Unad from, from, you know, a couple of hundred likes to, to multiple thousands within a very short period of time.
James (2): So going viral and then, and then you had to keep creating content. So [00:09:30] I suppose you suppose you built a little team that was. Doing that with you?
Alex: Yeah. There was a team of about six of us, um, other students at Oxford, Brooks University and, and [00:09:40] other people remotely who were submitting content. Um, and I remember I got an email from, funnily enough, it was a pizza company.
Alex: It was one of the UK's [00:09:50] largest pizza companies, and they offered me an amount of money to be promoted on the page. They, they saw the value in this concentration of, of university students. [00:10:00] And I thought, well, if I. Somehow managed to, to stick at this degree and, and stay in Oxford for three years. The amount of money that I will get in a graduate job as a salary [00:10:10] will be less than what this pizza company is offering me for this contract.
Alex: And I, that was the validation that I needed. And I, I dropped out of university the next week and [00:10:20] moved back in with my parents. Were they pleased to see you at this point? Did they ask, what the hell are you doing? Well, you know, it was, it was, in hindsight, you can sort of say, well, that [00:10:30] was a good decision, but if you, yeah, it looks like it from here.
Alex: What did it look like to them then? Well, you know, there was no precedent of. Success [00:10:40] on social media. Facebook was very new. There was no case studies of, of creating a business on social media. Um, so it was very, [00:10:50] you know, it was very anxious time. They, my, I think, you know, they wanted me to get a degree and I was abandoning that and sacrificing it for, for a Facebook page where there was no evidence that it [00:11:00] would have any longevity or sustainability.
Alex: Um, the, the email from that pizza company with those zeros on the end of that figure did. Soften the blow a little bit. [00:11:10] You showed it
James (2): to
Alex: them. Yes. Yeah. But you know, my parents have always been incredibly supportive and I think, you know, there was a degree of privilege I have to acknowledge there, where I was always encouraged to [00:11:20] do what I thought was a good idea and they didn't really give me any friction at that point, and they trusted my decision to, to go all in on this Facebook page.
James (2): Well, that's good to [00:11:30] hear. I mean, that's, that's, I, I hope any parent with a potentially entrepreneurial offspring will listen to that and, and do the same, um, as a parent myself, I think that's good [00:11:40] advice. We are delighted that you are watching this episode. Please hit the subscribe button if you'd like to receive more insights and [00:11:50] actionable advice that will help your business and or career.
James (2): Um, so, okay, so you, you, you had a Facebook page, but then it went beyond that became a website. [00:12:00] What, what, how did it evolve? What did you do from your parents' house to turn it into a, a business?
Alex: Well, I was getting lots of inbound requests from brands similar to that pizza [00:12:10] company. Um, my initial. Gut sort of knee jerk reaction was to, to spread my risk and to create another one because I didn't know, [00:12:20] um, if Unad was gonna be safe.
Alex: I didn't know how long Facebook pages were gonna be around for. Um, it made sense to spread my risk and not have all my eggs in one [00:12:30] basket. So I created another page called Lad Bible. Um, and because I had unad on one screen, which by this stage had over a hundred thousand followers. [00:12:40] Lad Bible was relatively easy to launch off of the back of it.
Alex: Um, lad Bible, funnily enough, went super viral very early on. It got to over a [00:12:50] million followers in the first month. Um, and
James (2): what do you attribute that to? If someone listening wants to get to a million followers in a month, [00:13:00] what, what's your advice? Hard to do, I think, but go on. What, what happened do you think?
James (2): What was the magic source for that?
Alex: Well, at the time, and. Here's the thing. At the time it was because if you [00:13:10] clicked on lad Bible, it would take you to a, an article that you sort of read the first paragraph and then it would fade out to nothing and you had to like the page in order to see the rest. [00:13:20] Um, and the landing tab.
Alex: So if someone clicked on lad Bible, was that your idea? That was my idea, yes. And someone would, the page that they would land on first was that, and the algorithm [00:13:30] on Facebook at the time worked in a way where if you. Liked a page, all of your friends would be notified. So it would say James and seven of your other friends liked, um, [00:13:40] lad Bible.
Alex: So if you were to log onto Facebook as a user, you would see this notification that all of your friends were getting in on this other page. And it would create [00:13:50] this, well, it did create this curiosity gap, this sort of sense of fomo, which really snowballed lad bible incredibly fast. But I think that the, the advice is like, 'cause that wouldn't [00:14:00] work now.
Alex: But what I was doing at the time, which is applicable to to people now, is that I had a, a consistent culture in my head of testing the [00:14:10] platforms and really analyzing what was working and what wasn't working. And that implies to people who are trying to build something on social media [00:14:20] today, like you have to have a culture of testing because like many things, social media is.
Alex: It is not just [00:14:30] a ever changing landscape, it's a relentlessly ever changing landscape. There's different platforms popping up each platform, Facebook now, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, [00:14:40] LinkedIn, they all have, and they make little changes all of the time behind the scenes towards what they're wanting to see on it, what content [00:14:50] type they're favoring, right?
Alex: What format Is it video? Is it text? Is it, um. Pictures. And not only that, but the length of these things, [00:15:00] the, the formatting. So having that culture within you and constantly testing to see what works and wasn't and what doesn't working and, and adapting based on the results is the advice that I think is absolutely [00:15:10] essential for anyone looking to build a following on social media today.
James (2): So really trying to sort of second guess the algorithms and test try things and really study it. I mean, that's what you said you were doing at [00:15:20] the time when you were doing Facebook earlier. I noted. But that's, that's a real important focus for people you are stressing.
Alex: Oh, it's, well, yeah, 100%. It's, it's as I, [00:15:30] it's, uh, it is the, we can go into it later.
Alex: It's why I think it's so perfect for my A DHD brain because it is ever changing and it never gets stagnant and it [00:15:40] almost, it always. Allows the novelty to be front and center right? I love the testing and, and AB testing and putting out two versions of different [00:15:50] content now. Now, shortform video is, is key to growth on social media across the board, whether that's YouTube shorts, or TikTok or Instagram [00:16:00] reels.
Alex: Short form content is. Completely paramount and should be front of center in any one's strategy. And then you have to look at the different elements of that [00:16:10] short form content to see which bits can you test. And it's always the first two seconds that are the most important part of any bit of content.
Alex: And [00:16:20] we close the hook. Two
James (2): seconds. The hook. So how would you test that? You'd put two different versions.
Alex: Yeah, two different, um, two different ways to write the captions. There's loads [00:16:30] of ways you can do it. Two different. First words are really important. 'cause if you think how people consume social media content now, it's very different to how they consumed it.
Alex: Back in [00:16:40] 2010, 11, you were very much sat at a computer screen back then sort of scrolling with a mouse. Now you are. On a bus, sat on a sofa scrolling up with [00:16:50] upper newsfeed very fast while watching TV with your Exactly. Yeah. So you've got really, you've got a second two seconds was really quite conservative.
Alex: You've got really a second or less to grab someone's attention, so [00:17:00] is that first. Second, you really have to put 80% of your effort into, um, and then testing that first, second, as, as, as much as you can with different sound effects, different facial [00:17:10] expressions, different first words that the user hear. And really diving into the results of which first, second portion generates the best clicks.
James (2): Right, [00:17:20] right. And so you did that successfully with Lad Bible and un lad, I suppose. 'cause they both grew, didn't they?
Alex: Yeah. I mean, and then what happened? Yeah, what happened? [00:17:30] Yeah. Well, going back to 2011. I had unad on one screen, which was on about 300,000 likes. Lad Bible, which was on over a [00:17:40] million. But in my head it was, Unilad was very much my baby.
Alex: I was very much more emotionally invested in that one. So I decided to sell Lad Bible at that stage. Um, and that was [00:17:50] all I put, I put, I got approached by numerous people. I ended up selling it to, um, Alexander Sole, who still owns it now and has done a brilliant job at taking it from. What it [00:18:00] was in my bedroom to, to where it is now, which is a huge global business.
Alex: Um, and then my attention went back to Unad and I continued to grow it. I, [00:18:10] I can reflect now and see the overwhelm that that happened at that stage and. Not, and trying to do too much on my own was causing me to not [00:18:20] be as efficient as as I wanted to be. Essentially. I needed help. Mm-hmm. Um, and I brought, and I put an advert out to bring in two people to help me.
Alex: And I [00:18:30] remember I went to Brighton to meet these two people. Um, and they presented me with a bit of paper to sign we were gonna go into partnership [00:18:40] and, and to, and to all work together. And I remember that day my intuition. My, my judge of character, the, the, the, the, the gut [00:18:50] feeling. It was screaming at me telling me, these two people are not on your side.
Alex: Um, these two people do not have your best interests at heart. [00:19:00] But there was something in me I can now reflect. It was me being a massive people pleaser, me being terrified of confrontation, me not knowing how to say [00:19:10] no, me not knowing how to assert boundaries. Um, it was. I signed a bit of paper. I may I ask, how old were
James (2): you at the time?
Alex: I was [00:19:20] when I was 21. So you're very young, right? Yeah. And were
James (2): they
Alex: older than you? Um,
James (2): no. Similar age, basically they were similar age. I think some of those confidences grow [00:19:30] as in my experience as I've got older.
Alex (2): Mm-hmm.
James (2): But you, you found, so you, you were looking for partners and what they were gonna invest in it and work with you, were they?
James (2): And [00:19:40] they presented you with a piece of paper rather than the other way around.
Alex: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was, we, we,
James (2): so what's the advice is don't sign anything. If you're listing and you're an entrepreneur, [00:19:50] someone gives you a piece of paper
Alex: without
James (2): having it lawyered is, that may be, yeah. That's
Alex: the obvious stuff.
Alex: You know, like don't, if you've got a business that's generating any business, whether it's early stages or not, like don't [00:20:00] sign anything unless you get a legal pair of eyes to look over. They really sure what it says. Yeah. But you did make sure you understand. What I did not know.
James (2): You didn't sign it? I, I did sign it.[00:20:10]
James (2): Yeah. But you didn't get the lawyers? No. So what happened after that? So you, you then, I imagine, rumbled along with these two new business partners.
Alex: Yeah, it was very, it was very, I [00:20:20] got, I, we went home and this was a few weeks later, logged onto Facebook, uh, to do my normal updating of UN ad and I had realized that I had lost administrative access to [00:20:30] the Facebook page.
Alex: Essentially I'd been removed from. The, the business, which at that time was the Facebook page. Um, so that must have
James (2): been
Alex: deeply
James (2): shocking. [00:20:40] Well, this is a business you'd created and then you couldn't get into it at all.
Alex: Oh yeah, I remember the, the moment vividly, you know, sat there in my desk, in, in my parents' house and just [00:20:50] not in disbelief.
James (2): And this was within weeks of you meeting these people? It was
Alex: very shortly afterwards, yes. Yeah. So you were I Jewish and
James (2): quickly proven to be correct?
Alex: Yeah. I mean, [00:21:00] part of me knew straight away what had happened because again, it was that intuition, um, piping up and saying, you know, you were right. Those, these two people are not on your [00:21:10] side.
Alex: Um, but again, that. The, the part of me that didn't want to believe it or avoid confronting it was telling me, well, maybe this is just a technical issue on Facebook [00:21:20] and go to bed. It'll be, it'll be sorted in the morning. Facebook must have just locked everyone out of the pages. Um, but of course I woke up the following morning and that wasn't the case.
Alex: [00:21:30] Um, so what did you do? Well. For a few months I didn't do anything. I was in disbelief. I, I, I, I messaged the, the, the, the, the men. Um, [00:21:40] and I didn't hear anything. Eventually I went to a solicitor and the solicitor said to me that, um, they're not, I presented the bit of paper I signed and they [00:21:50] said, he said that they're not allowed to have done what they've done.
Alex: All decisions have to be unanimous. It clearly says that in the partnership. Um, but this is going to be a big [00:22:00] fight. I. If you, if you want to pursue this. Um, I did. He said to me that, you know, it, it, it trickled on for two years. It was, it was letters [00:22:10] back and forth at that stage. It was clearly no backing down.
Alex: They were not.
James (2): What, what was their justification? What, I mean, what, what was their case or in, in a [00:22:20] nutshell?
Alex: Essentially. You didn't agree with it, obviously. No, no. The partnership agreement was very clear cut. It was, you know, two, two partners cannot override a third. Everything has to be unanimous and it was very a [00:22:30] clear, but.
Alex: So I suppose the counter argument was that the majority view or something and Yeah, all decisions had to be unanimous. Um, my solicitor said This is gonna be one or lost in a [00:22:40] courtroom, and you are gonna have to take the witness box. You are gonna have to give evidence. And my mind flashed back to the little version of me [00:22:50] in.
Alex: In a classroom when I was seven years old, I had a panic attack in a classroom when I was seven years old. Um, you know, I've always had this racing [00:23:00] mind, this internalized hyperactivity, uh, describe it as having 10 highly caffeinated squirrels. Barreling around in there. And it has enabled me to be very [00:23:10] creative and entrepreneurial in some settings, but in, in some other, in other settings like a classroom.
Alex: Um, very anxious. And that day when I was seven, the teacher put me on the spot. All the other kids [00:23:20] turned to look at me, and I remember my face went bright red, my heart rate sped up, ran out of the classroom, found someone in the corridor and [00:23:30] said, please call an ambulance. I'm having a heart attack when the paramedic.
Alex: Arrived. They reassured me I wasn't having a heart attack. I was having my first anxiety [00:23:40] attack.
Alex (2): Mm-hmm.
Alex: I've never been good with. When I'm put on the spot and when my solicitor said that this is gonna be won or lost in a [00:23:50] courtroom and you are gonna have to take the witness box in front of their legal team, my legal team, the judge, the press will probably be there 'cause Unilaterals are quite a big name.
Alex: At this [00:24:00] stage, my mind flashed back, flashed back to the the 7-year-old me in the classroom and I went to a petrol station and bought a bottle of vodka [00:24:10] and I remember. I can only explain what happened next, and that's the nurse. I woke up in a hospital the following morning with a nurse looking over me, and she [00:24:20] explained that two members of the public had found me in an alleyway, clutching this bottle, and I tried to stagger away.
Alex: I didn't want help. [00:24:30] Apparently I'd hit my head on the wall, they called an ambulance, and as the nurse was telling me this, I remember this tremendous shame. And [00:24:40] embarrassment that came over me and I in, in that moment to cure that feeling. I, I needed more alcohol. I remember thinking that I stood up from the hospital bed, tried to run outta the [00:24:50] ward.
Alex: Security had been called, and before I knew it, I was in the back of a police car and I looked out and I could see my parents, they had been called, and my mom [00:25:00] and dad were, were looking at me through the, the window of this police car. With this look of just fear and desperation in their eyes, um, they [00:25:10] didn't know how to help me.
Alex: That took me to aa, you know, that experience. Um, and I remember hearing those four letters, A, [00:25:20] DH, D, and in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, but it didn't go in. Fast forward two months. The trial happened in London. Um, I took the witness box and [00:25:30] the judge was very accommodating. He let me take as many breaks as I wanted to.
Alex: It must
James (2): have
Alex: been
James (2): very
Alex: hard for you though. That must
James (2): have been a really difficult,
Alex: I was cross-examined [00:25:40] by. You must have found that
James (2): very challenging given what you just said.
Alex: Well, very challenging. I was cross-examined for six days, um mm-hmm. You know, full days. And even the judge said it was [00:25:50] excessive.
Alex: Um, by the other parties. By the other parties, barrister, top barrister, you know, who was who, um, was who, who was relentless. Um, but I [00:26:00] took multiple breaks. I remember walking off anxiety attacks around the streets where the courthouse was throwing up in the toilet, you know, but I got through it. Um,
James (2): [00:26:10] six days of cross-examination went.
James (2): Yeah, this had happened to you, not you.
Alex: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, and the, we can go into the, but the judgment said later that it was [00:26:20] unnecessary and the strategy was to try and introduce me in the eyes of the court. But, um, I. So the judge said that? The judge said that? Yeah, certainly. Sounds like
James (2): that to me.
James (2): There's some tactics [00:26:30] involved.
Alex: Yeah. The, the, you know, fast forward two months later after the trial had finished, I got through it and my phone went and it was my solicitor and he said, Alex, are you on your own? [00:26:40] And I said, yes. And he said, you've won everything. You've won Unad back. Well, and I remember just, I'm pleased to hear it falling to my knees and you know, and it sounds [00:26:50] quite theatrical, but I remember just bursting into tears because yes, it was a five year legal battle, which I've, but really it was a huge mental health battle for me [00:27:00] that nearly cost me my life.
James (2): It sounds very traumatic, but ultimately you were vindicated and your struggles were justified, [00:27:10] and you got it. You got it all backed. You say. Is that Well, yeah, you got what you wanted. I was
Alex: fighting for my stake in Yeah. And you got all of that. Yeah.
James (2): So then what did you do? [00:27:20] 'cause I suppose you were back in partnership with the people you'd been
Alex: in court
James (2): with.
Alex: Yeah. Well, it was a bit of a mess afterwards because I'd been out of the business for five years, essentially. [00:27:30] I, and I couldn't really go in at that stage and, and sort of say, I'm the boss now. Um, or I didn't really want to as well. The company had grown so big and I had been out of it for so [00:27:40] long. I kind of just wanted an exit.
Alex: Yes. At that stage, and I was advised to, to sell it. We put it unad on the essentially open market. Lots of people bid for it. Um, [00:27:50] lad bible group, funnily enough, um, bought it in the end and I, and I essentially took a, um, you know, a chunk of, of money and, and, and Drew, drew drew a line in the [00:28:00] sand.
James (2): So you, it it's his sister company ended up being Yeah, yeah.
James (2): The, the buyer. Well, that's what that sounds like. The completing the circle, closing the circle. To me and you [00:28:10] walked away hopefully with a good pay packet, so Sounds like it. Mm-hmm. So that was that whole un ad. And so how old are you at this point? Not very old. By 26, 27 or something. [00:28:20]
Alex: Yeah, I was, well I was 28 or 29 at
James (2): that stage.
James (2): Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you do when you've had a sort of career like that at 20 by [00:28:30] 29? I mean, where'd you go next? Is is on my mind. Yeah. Because you know, you, you've accomplished so much, you've had huge struggles as well. Um, what's next for Alex at this
Alex: [00:28:40] point? Well, I very much just needed a break afterwards, you know, and I took a break in my head.
Alex: I'd very much thought I was a bit, you know, I got this huge amount of money. I was very much under the impression, well, I've retired [00:28:50] now. Um, I. You know, I bought a nice car. I went on some holidays, but it was very quickly, I got tremendously bored. Yeah, I can imagine. I was thinking about [00:29:00] myself. I'm sympathetic.
Alex: Holidays are okay, but after a bit. Yeah. Yeah, it was, I think I'd been convinced by Instagram that that was the definition of success, you know, but it really [00:29:10] wasn't because in my head it was, I ended up a bit boring. I ended up getting addicted to my Xbox and I just went for six or seven months without leaving my flat that much and, and playing my Xbox and it was really.[00:29:20]
Alex: Hitting my self-esteem. So I wanted to start a podcast to do something next, and it was, I had this identity that I was this businessman because of [00:29:30] Yeah, the, the, the lad Bible and un lad success. So I started a podcast, a business podcast called Walkaway Wiser. Um, and I remember I had this idea [00:29:40] and I impulsively.
Alex: Spent a small fortune on seven cameras similar to the ones here. Um, dismantled my bedroom, [00:29:50] dismantled my bed in my flat, and turned my bedroom into a soundproof studio. Hired all, bought all of the foam, um, tripods, lighting, everything. It looked, looked [00:30:00] really cool. No freezer at
James (2): this time.
Alex: I can see a pattern here though.
Alex: Go on. So, you know, hired a producer, booked all of these guests. And three days [00:30:10] later, the postman knocked on my door and he delivered all of these boxes of camera equipment. And I remember just sat there looking at all of these Amazon boxes and [00:30:20] thinking, I don't wanna do this podcast anymore. I've lost interest in this podcast idea.
Alex: And I didn't understand, you know, the juxtaposition between the enthusiasm three [00:30:30] days ago compared to now. And the. Person I hired to be the producer looked at me and said, when did you get your A DHD diagnosis? [00:30:40] They recognized this boom and bust pattern right before I did, even though I had experienced it so many times throughout my life.
Alex: That's what you call it.
James (2): Boom and bust pattern. [00:30:50]
Alex: Yeah. Well, you know, quite literally it's the boom in the early stage where it's like, this is my new life's purpose. Buy the domain, design the logo, you know, three days later bust your interest is [00:31:00] gone. Um, right. And that was the first time I really took those four letters seriously.
Alex: A DHD. And I dived into what, what, what A DHD was. [00:31:10] And, um, I, I got assessed shortly afterwards and I had the meeting with the psychologist and, and she looked at me and said, your A DHD is clear as hell. [00:31:20] So that was, that was how I knew, right. That's a diagnosis.
James (2): Yeah. So, so, so that's interesting. So you had this diagnosis, what did you do with it?[00:31:30]
Alex: Well, I. Used it to be a lot kinder to myself immediately because there was this, with these boom and bust cycles. This sort of [00:31:40] glitchy dopamine system that that is quite common with a ADHD is, is very easy to when something does come into your front and center, to get really excited by it and [00:31:50] take steps to action something, whether it is buying the domain or even jumping into a new relationship, starting a job, starting a business.
Alex: And then you lose interest in it. And what [00:32:00] comes with that is a huge amount of shame because even though there is some humor in it, you, when you're in that height, you, you, you tell people about it. You tell your, your [00:32:10] family, you tell your friends, you tell people on social media. It's like, this is my new business idea.
Alex: This is what I want to do. And then you lose interest in the idea and you have to confront that person. [00:32:20] 'cause you, you'll meet them and they'll say, how's that new idea going? And you have to again say that. I'm, I've lost interest in it, and you ghost [00:32:30] people or you hide away. So there was loads of color and context that I was adding to, to years and years and years of, of shame that actually alleviated a lot of the, [00:32:40] the, the, the self-esteem issues that I was facing simultaneously.
James (2): But you, I suppose so you're confronting yourself too. Mm-hmm. Or you are being kinder to yourself by recognizing that. [00:32:50] So that sounded quite a helpful moment.
Alex: For you. I, for me, as soon as I got the diagnosis, like many people do, um, I, [00:33:00] I dived into Google and I wanted to know what is this thing I've been diagnosed with because I didn't know anything about it.
Alex: Um, and I Googled it and it said, A DHD [00:33:10] is a struggle with, it's a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by traits of impulsivity, forgetfulness, and disorganization. It means you're gonna struggle [00:33:20] with. Disorganization, you're gonna struggle with being late. It was all struggle, struggle, struggle and more struggle.
Alex: And it was enough to make anyone feel hopeless. And I [00:33:30] reflected and, and those things are there, but also from my experience and speaking to so many people in the community who have A-D-H-D-A-D-H-D [00:33:40] is also creativity and pattern recognition and being great in a crisis. Being able to zoom out and see the big picture and spot details [00:33:50] that other people miss being resilient.
Alex: Being a great judge of character, having heightened intuition, being very loyal, being [00:34:00] entrepreneurial people with an A DH ADHD diagnosis, they're, you're four times more likely to start your own business. All of these things, I think are tre, are a tremendous asset to society. [00:34:10] So my goal was to balance the narrative around what it actually means to live with A DHD.
James (2): Well, what you just said I thought was incredibly inspiring. [00:34:20] I mean, I was thinking of people I love who maybe have those characteristics and how I'd like them to hear that, because I thought it was very inspiring. And I think, I [00:34:30] mean, I'm asking myself the question, what can we do to make sure more young people, um, are supported rather than shamed in their journey through school and [00:34:40] education so that they become, you know, fulfilled as the wonderful people they are.
James (2): Because the description, A DHD has a sort of mixed. Meaning, doesn't it? I mean, [00:34:50] some of the words are quite sort of negative as you said, and you know, neurodiversity is the sort of word that we hear more now. I dunno what you think of that, but how can, how can [00:35:00] we as parents or educators, teachers, how can we make sure we don't make that mistake and support people and help people constructively?
Alex: I [00:35:10] had a guest on my podcast, an amazing woman who has a an A DHD. Daughter and she shared the story of how she, from a very young age, she gave her daughter a teddy bear. [00:35:20] And the teddy bear had, um, embroidered on its chest. It said, never too much. And I asked her what she meant by that, and she explained that it had two meanings.
Alex: It firstly meant that [00:35:30] it was a constant reminder to her daughter that, that her behavior, she as a person, as a human being, uh, was never too much. And secondary to that, it was, [00:35:40] it was to remind her daughter that, that anything, the daughter wanted to come to her, the parent about whatever struggles, whatever worries, whatever concerns that the daughter [00:35:50] had.
Alex: Um, nothing was off the table, nothing was too much. Um, I think so many A DHD kids, you know, well, we know A DHD children, they're exposed to 20,000 [00:36:00] more negative criticisms, more micro corrections. Stop fidgeting, calm down. Stop doing that. Stop biting your fingernails 20,000 more than, than the [00:36:10] neurotypical child throughout their childhood.
Alex: It's, it creates this intrinsic feeling of being different and, and broken and, and too much, um, so less of that [00:36:20] obviously, and, you know, and in the, in the classroom movement breaks are so, so, so helpful. Um, it's so important that [00:36:30] the child in the classroom recognizes and is reminded that if they don't.
Alex: Connect with maths or history or science or whatever. It [00:36:40] doesn't mean that they're broken or a failure.
James (2): You use the words in our discussion as I'm obsessed with things that you got addicted to, things impulsive and these are all words I recognize, [00:36:50] you know, in my own life and career and, and also, you know, from people I've interviewed.
James (2): Here in the podcast, who, who've been, you know, successful as entrepreneurs or [00:37:00] pursued, you know, very interesting careers. I mean, they are in some way. I dunno how you turn those. Sometimes they can be negative. How, how do you turn 'em into a positive, something like addiction or [00:37:10] impulsiveness? I mean, you've been quite clear about impulsiveness or it's about having a go, isn't it?
James (2): And that's sort of, that's the starting point of any, any journey.
Alex: Um, well, yeah, I mean, it, [00:37:20] it, the impulsivity and being a starter is, is, is a strength for the reasons that I, that I mentioned, but it has to come with a massive [00:37:30] side helping of self-awareness because it's not a strength if you are starting a new business every week because you are [00:37:40] excited by an idea and then the boom and bust cycle happens.
Alex: Yes. And that's not a strength. That No, you have
James (2): to give it a bit more than a week. Yeah. So [00:37:50] yeah, I can see that. So, so how do you manage that? I mean, is it about getting people around you or the self-awareness about delegating as well, or finding people to compliment you? [00:38:00] I'm thinking of working with my father.
James (2): Mm-hmm. Right. These are great idea. I mean, you, your early career reminds me of his starting all these ventures. Mm-hmm. Getting bored with 'em and doing another, and, [00:38:10] and he's got ideas all the time. And I've found myself sometimes curating the ideas and we've worked well as a team for years. Um, but it is a, it is an interesting struggle.
Alex: [00:38:20] Mm-hmm. Impulsivity is great when it's aligned with, with self-awareness and 'cause. When an idea comes into your front and [00:38:30] center, into your now, into your present and, and you are deciding whether to act on it or not, you have to have an awareness of yourself that will [00:38:40] enable you to align or to understand whether that thing is a good fit for you.
Alex: And therefore whether or not it's a good idea to take that first step to buy the domain. So then you have to [00:38:50] ask yourself, how can I build self-awareness? And I think there's three main ways that are really beneficial to building self-awareness. And they're not easy, like these are hard, [00:39:00] hard exercises to do, but I think they're so important.
Alex: The first one is to really. At the end of the day, or as often as you can, or have time to, as have time for [00:39:10] ask Yourself some really honest questions like, what did I do today that made me happy? What did I do today that made me sad? What did I do today that, that I found easy? What did [00:39:20] I do today that I, I I, I struggled with?
Alex: You know, we have to be really honest with yourself as well when you, when you ask yourself these questions. And that will give you a, a, a [00:39:30] foundation to help you build up this arsenal of self-awareness that will make you much better equipped to recognize if something is a good fit for you or not. [00:39:40] When an idea comes into your front and center.
Alex: The second thing is to always listen to your knee jerk reactions. You know, you so many people with a [00:39:50] DHD, we, we've, we've gone our entire lives pretending to be someone that we're not. So we don't often actually know who. We are, what is us and what's [00:40:00] a coping mechanism? What's, what's really Alex and what's part of this mask that I've spent years applying just
James (2): going forward.
James (2): You, you [00:40:10] are doing a lot in this space now. I mean, you've got a DHD chat at the podcast going, you've just written a fabulous book, which is behind me, which I'll bring down. It's already been very [00:40:20] positively reviewed. We'll put that on the film. Um, and, uh. You are, you are in a sense starting a, a new career in a way.
James (2): Is that right? Is that how it feels? Or, because you said [00:40:30] you'd retired, but then you didn't really like being retired, so what's
Alex: next for you? Well, it's very much the podcast now, and I, I [00:40:40] started it very small and I think it's great advice for anyone a DHD or not who's starting a business is to, to really.
Alex: Learn the basics [00:40:50] before you learn. Learn the basics first. I started the podcast in my bedroom, in, in my flat on Zoom. I did the first 20 episodes, um, learn the basics, how [00:41:00] to ask questions, how to write questions, how to be a, a, a good podcast host. And I didn't overwhelm myself. I didn't get overstimulated.
Alex: Once I was confident that my [00:41:10] motivation was not going anywhere, I then scaled up. I moved into a, a studio in Batey. Hired a producer, um, really took it up a level. [00:41:20] And the podcast is lots of episodes, lots of bricks that stack on top of each other over time to create this business. I think with [00:41:30] starting a business, it's very easy to to to, to go all in at the beginning and, and just go a million miles an hour, try to do everything in a very short space of [00:41:40] time.
Alex: Um, like I did with my first podcast, walkaway Wiser and suddenly. In no time at all. You're standing in the shadow of this massive brick wall [00:41:50] and you have no idea how all of the individual bricks work. And in that moment you, it's no surprise that you get overwhelmed and you abandon it. So my [00:42:00] advice for anyone listening is, is to really whatever business that you are thinking of starting or have started, find the bricks within the business.
Alex: Really understand. [00:42:10] All of the different parts of your, your business and how they operate and, and really try and break it, break it up into manageable chunks to avoid the overwhelm. That is actually, I think, the reason why so [00:42:20] many A DHD entrepreneurs end up abandoning the, the business.
James (2): So one brick at a time, so to speak.
James (2): So, so. [00:42:30] Any other thoughts for sort of young people who are thinking of starting a business who, who may or may not be a DHD? So, I mean, I guess many won't know, maybe not for many years [00:42:40] or ever. Um, but yeah. What, what, what other key pieces of advice that someone who's done it more than once, would you give?
James (2): Give [00:42:50] someone starting that journey.
Alex: Yeah, this is really interesting and it's a genuine advice. I wish I had years ago. It would've saved me so much. Um, shame [00:43:00] I think, is you get an idea and whether it's a, whether it's whether you're excited about or not. Like imagine you've got this [00:43:10] metaphorical ideas shelf on the wall behind you and something comes into your brain and you think this is a brilliant idea.
Alex: Don't action it immediately. Like, put it [00:43:20] on this metaphorical idea shelf, let it brew. And if you're still excited about it in two weeks time, then that's probably a good indicator that, that [00:43:30] the, the components of that idea is a good fit for you. And they are connected to your intrinsic self and motivations.
Alex: And you need to do the self-awareness exercises [00:43:40] to really understand what they are. But if it's still pulling on you in two weeks, then buy the domain. Then design the logo. It's just about putting that breaker between the initial thought [00:43:50] and actually starting the business. 'cause you know, it's so easy to impulsively jump into the business and start it without really understanding if it's a good fit or not.
Alex: And if it's not, then you are [00:44:00] abandoning it. And that comes with so much shame, self-esteem issues, comorbidities that can be avoided if you just put that breaker in place at the very start of the process. There's [00:44:10] so many, many businesses within the main A DHD podcast business. Um, so many problem solving ideas.
Alex: You know, I think [00:44:20] memory is a huge issue for me. Um, I can put my washing machine on. I. And it cleans the clothes. And then, and then I will forget to empty the machine. [00:44:30] The machine, the clothes go damp. I have to repeat the cycle. I can never remember to take my reusable shopping bags to the supermarket. I get parking fines and they double.
Alex: So [00:44:40] many little things like that, which, you know, there's humor there, but there's also a lot of anxiety and shame. Because I'm 36, I should be able to remember to empty my [00:44:50] washing machine. So I went into problem solving mode and I thought, well, I'll just create. Memory bracelets. I'll take advantage of my nighttime brain, which is so much more productive than my morning brain.
Alex: [00:45:00] I'll think, what five tasks do I need to do tomorrow? And I'll write them down on a bracelet. I'll wake up in the morning, put the bracelets on, clean the flat, pay that parking fine, book that [00:45:10] guest. And as I complete each task, I take a bracelet off, put it in a bowl. And if I take all my bracelets off in one day, I reward myself.
Alex: With something I've [00:45:20] gamified it, you know? Right. Really basic stuff that, you know, so there's a product there, which, which is in the pipeline, you know, to, to, to create these, these, uh, memory bracelets. So there's, there's businesses within the business [00:45:30] that are solving problems within the community, which, so it's very much still part of my brain that's active.
James (2): Yeah. No, I can see that. That's fantastic. And I wish you continued success with that.[00:45:40]
James (2): Thank you so much for coming to talk to me today, Alex. I I like to ask two questions at the end, which I ask of everyone. Um, [00:45:50] the first is because we love Mondays here at Reed, you know, what is it that gets you up on a Monday morning? Yeah,
Alex: I mean, it's gonna sound a bit, um, [00:46:00] cheesy and maybe even cliche, but it's very much like when I open my eyes in the morning, I very much instantly see my why.
Alex: Why I started the podcast, um, [00:46:10] why I started the business and it's so many people with a DHD, particularly women and girls, have been let down for so long. Um, it hasn't, it wasn't [00:46:20] even recent. Recently, the medical community realized women could be have a DHD. There's this whole generation coming through that have just finally realized that there's [00:46:30] a reason for their overwhelm, anxiety racing thoughts, those highly caffeinated squirrels I mentioned earlier.
Alex: Um, so it's very much that. It's very much recognizing that 90% of my audience [00:46:40] are women. It's huge numbers of people that are connecting with my content because it's finally making them feel seen. Um, and that's what gets me out of bed [00:46:50] is to continue that mission. I read my comments, I read my messages.
Alex: You know, lifesaving is the feedback, life changing. Um, it's very much about keeping the [00:47:00] why, the reason, the initial motivation, whatever business, everyone starts. There was an initial seed. That was planted, that that grew. Right. And it is so important. Some people lose touch of that [00:47:10] and, and that's often why people quit.
Alex: But having that, that, that, that why that, that seed, that initial excitement, that initial motivation front and center. Um, so [00:47:20] that's very much what gets me out of bed. It's, it's waking up and thinking of that and realizing that there's, that there's a mission here to, to do.
James (2): Thank you. And, and the last question [00:47:30] is a question from my interview book, which is one of the fateful 15, and it's where do you see yourself in five years time?
James (2): Gosh,
Alex: um, I see [00:47:40] myself doing. Uh, if I'm honest, I'm, it is very much doing more of the same, uh, just on a bigger scale. You know, I think A DHD is such a big topic. Um, [00:47:50] I'd, I'd love to interview Gabbo Matee very much, or my, on my, on my radar, Mel Robbins would very much like to interview. Um, but just continue the mission, you know, [00:48:00] really keep making the podcast, keep growing it, um, because so many people out there still think that they're, they're, they're, they're broken.
Alex: [00:48:10] And obviously they're not, they're just different and, and they've always been enough. So it's just continuing to, to grow my audience and keep as many people as possible reminded of that fact.
James (2): Thank you very [00:48:20] much. Well, I wish you every success in that endeavor and uh, I've found it very inspiring and interesting to talk to you today.
James (2): And it's, thank you so much for coming in. Thanks, Jaylen. [00:48:30] Thank [00:48:40] [00:48:50] you.
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